mom. of course, we wish the best for the family. wow, five! >> seven in total now. >> that's going to be a lot of work. >> that's a lot of love in the family. take you on outside, show you san jose. what do we expect tomorrow? >> we have morning fog rolling in, tomorrow morning thick possibly into the tri valley and north bay as well. after that we get sunny skies 66 degrees, up in the 70s on sunday, and a chance of rainfall next week. >> stay safe in the commute tomorrow. we'll see you. bye-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- sam rockwell, tig notaro, musical guests alan walker

featuring noah cyrus, and the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: show 800. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm speechless, that's what we want. that is exactly a hot crowd tonight. welcome to the "tonight show." straight from new york city, baby.

[ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here. this is what -- this is what everybody is talking about. i saw that tomorrow, president trump will have his first physical since taking office. [ light laughter ] they'll get off to a weird start when he eats an entire jar of cotton balls because he thinks they're marshmallows. [ laughter and applause ] "these are pretty stale." you'll know trump eats a lot of junk food when the doctor puts his stethoscope to his chest and trump's heart whispers, "help me! [ laughter and applause ] wall. covfefe." [ laughter ] yep, it's his first physical. there will be another awkward moment when trump tells the doctor he's sexually active and from the waiting room melania yells, "fake news!" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: hey! >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: hey-o! close the door! some privacy in this place! >> steve: that's why we need a a wall! >> jimmy: yeah! [ laughter ] "we have to build a soundproof wall in the doctor's office."

you guys see this? "time" magazine just came out with a new issue that talks about trump's first year in office. take a look at the cover there. [ laughter ] when he saw that, trump said, "weird, i don't even remember taking that photo. [ laughter and applause ] i look good. i look great." some business news here, the ceo of domino's pizza announced that he is stepping down this summer. [ audience aws ] he'll carefully pack up his office, then get home and find that all his stuff is stuck to the top of the box. then you go. [ laughter and applause ] and after being out of business for years, circuit city announced that they are opening stores again. [ cheers ] yeah, they said they couldn't wait to fax their employees the news. [ laughter and applause ] "hang up the phone, i'll try it again." [ modem connecting ] oh, this is kind of funny, at the consumer electronics show in las vegas, lg had this big presentation to show off its robot that's nicknamed chloe. but they had a little bit of

trouble. it's always a bummer with -- watch this. >> chloe, am i ready on my washer cycle? [ laughter ] chloe, what's for dinner tonight? [ laughter ] okay, chloe is not going to talk to me. chloe doesn't like me, evidently. chloe, are you talking to me yet? what recipes could i make with chicken? [ laughter ] okay. >> jimmy: yeah. afterwards alexa was like, "you froze, kid." [ laughter and applause ] they couldn't get chloe to work, but then he was like, "oh, wait a minute, her name is courtney. courtney, how do you bake a a chicken?" >> 30 minutes. >> jimmy: thank you. wrong kardashian, sorry. [ laughter ] meanwhile, vermont could become the first state to legalize recreational marijuana through the state legislator.

[ cheers ] yeah. then the state full of ben & jerry's and snowboarders said, "oh, good, we can finally start smoking weed. yeah. finally. wonder what that will be like." [ laughter and applause ] this made me laugh. the other day in brazil, a a woman went bowling and it didn't really turn out the way she planned. take a look at this. [ speaking foreign language ] [ scream ] [ thud ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, then -- then she hit the other two tvs to get a spare. [ laughter and applause ] all right, you guys, we have a a great show tonight. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much, roots. [ cheers and applause ] we have got a fantastic show tonight.

we love this guy so much. he is the best and he's one of our favorite guests and we've just -- we've known him forever. i love this guy so much. he's having an incredible week. he won a golden globe last weekend and this weekend -- [ cheers and applause ] yeah, he won! and this weekend, he is hosting "saturday night live." sam rockwell is here tonight! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ he's the best. >> jimmy: he is the best, man. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: he's fantastic in this movie and every movie. we love him, but this movie -- whew. he's really good. yeah, yeah, i want to talk to him about all that stuff. also from the amazon series, "one mississippi," the very funny tig notaro is stopping by. >> steve: oh! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tig! and we've got great music from alan walker featuring noah cyrus. [ cheers and applause ] alan walker featuring noah cyrus. plus tonight, we have two surprise guests will be joining us. >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: for "charades." [ cheers ] i wonder who that could be,

yeah. guys, it's time for "tonight show hashtags," here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hashtags hashtags ♪ >> jimmy: awe, thank you very much, everybody. we do this thing every week where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to respond to that topic. so since the new season of "the bachelor" just started -- [ cheers ] yeah, i know. you guys -- have you all seen it yet? or not yet? [ cheers ] it's a slow -- slow build. >> steve: slow build, yeah. >> jimmy: well, since the new season of "the bachelor" just started and i sent out a a hashtag called "#worstfirstdate." the worst first date. i asked you guys to send us stories about the worst first dates you've ever seen. within 30 minutes it was a a trending topic in the u.s. we were trending -- [ cheers and applause ] we were trending number three! >> steve: that's great! >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. and i now i thought i'd share some of my favorite "worst first date" stories for you guys. this first one is from @jordancohen2u.

she says, "i was really into this guy, but i was so nervous on our first date that when he told me, 'you smell good,' i replied, 'thanks, i use both of my nostrils.'" [ laughter and applause ] "i use both of my nostrils." this one is from @annabanana0626. she says, "i was walking ahead of him and got into the car parked out front before he could open the door for me. he knocked on the window and yelled through the glass, 'this isn't my car.'" [ laughter and applause ] "it's a mercedes benz, i kind of like it." >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: "whose car is this?" >> steve: i'll wait. this one is from @foreversmiling2. she says, "on my first date, my first time even at a sushi place, i decided to order thirteen rolls. i thought rolls meant individual pieces of sushi. the servers had to push two tables together just to hold them all there." [ cheers and applause ] thirteen rolls of sushi. well, whatever you say. bring 'em -- keep brining 'em. i've been here before.

this one's from @snookicookie16. she says, "at the end of the night, he acted like he was going in for a kiss, then put his whole mouth over my nose and blew into it. he laughed and said he does it to his dogs and calls it a a 'puppy trumpet.'" [ laughter and applause ] puppy trumpet. >> steve: puppy trumpet. garbage person. it's my puppy trumpet, man. >> jimmy: it said the end of the night -- at the end of the date, it was the 'ol puppy trumpet. >> steve: 'ol puppy trumpet. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] this one's from @hotovy. hotovy? he says, "the first time i meant my wife, she was convinced there were 52 states in the u.s. when i suggested there were only 50 states, she called her brother, who confirmed that there were in fact 52 states." [ laughter and applause ] never going to win. >> steve: they're married! >> jimmy: you're never going to win, dude.

he's married, yeah, he's married. >> steve: he learned his lesson early. >> jimmy: exactly, yeah. this one's from @patrickah81. he says, "i once spilled soda on my crotch while pulling into my date's driveway. my first words when she answered the door were, 'it's not pee.'" [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: i'm clean. >> jimmy: it's not pee. >> steve: yeah, not pee. >> jimmy: all right, well, what is it? >> steve: it's a little bit of poop. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @lindachilders1. she said, "a friend once set me up on a blind date. i wasn't in a great mood because i had received a a traffic ticket a few hours before. my day got worse when my blind date turned out to be the cop who gave me the ticket." >> steve: oh! what! [ audience ohs ] i know you! that's fate! that's fate! >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. this one's from @mfonda. she says, "on our first date, the guy choked on an omelet and blew an onion out of his nose." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: he could have used the puppy trumpet. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what you use it for, man.

>> steve: yeah, that's what you gotta get there. >> jimmy: that's what you use it for, yeah. next one is from our very own questlove. >> steve: oh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is very interesting here. he says, "i had dinner with rosario dawson and let mos def and his bros crash the party. mos actually -- casually ordered her $500 birthday cake. it wasn't her birthday. the bill came to $1400. i didn't have $1400." [ laughter and applause ] that was it? that was it? that was it. >> questlove: there's only 280 characters, i couldn't go -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. have you ever tried to go on a a second date, or no? >> questlove: i didn't get a a second date. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: rosario -- we got to bring this up when she comes on. [ laughter ] that's the greatest -- tariq, you have a worst first date story? >> tariq: no, all my first dates, they went swimmingly. [ laughter and applause ]

>> steve: swimmingly -- swimmingly. >> jimmy: last one here is from @ash10g. she says, "we had mini makeout, then he fist bumped me and said, 'nice work.'" [ laughter and applause ] there you have it. those are our "tonight show hashtags." [ cheers and applause ] to check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. we're playing "charades" with special guests after the break. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ resolution #1: binge more. join the un-carrier, and get four unlimited lines for only forty bucks each. plus, netflix for the whole family. on us. so, they get their shows... let's go, girl! you're gonna love this bit! and you get yours. watch however you want. on your phone, tablet, or tv. for just forty bucks per line. with no extra charges.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the "tonight show", everybody. tariq and i are about to play a a game of charades with two very special guests. on tuesday they received the spotlight award from the national board of review for their film which grossed over $800 million, and is nominated for the producers guild award for best picture. please welcome the director and the star of "wonder woman" patty jenkins and gal gadot. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: come on, pal. come on. all right. i mean, these guys -- [ cheers and applause ] now, you all know how to play charades. each player gets a turn giving silent clues to their teammates. 30 seconds on the clock per turn. we're going to do four rounds. and then the fifth round is a a charades showdown. both teams give the same clue at the same time. the teams are me and gal versus patty and tariq. gal, why don't you start us off tonight and let's show them how it's done. >> you got it. >> jimmy: patty. patty, you can go right there. tariq. >> just watch the magic. >> jimmy: yeah, watch the magic. exactly. you guys, pick a number, any number for gal? >> number? [ audience shouts suggestions ] seven. >> jimmy: alright, we can do this. >> remember, the "seinfeld" episode with seven -- neven? nevermind. [ laughter ] you remember. >> jimmy: okay. >> um, okay. >> jimmy: yeah. oh, we got this. i can feel it already. >> okay. >> jimmy: i can feel the

confidence. oh, it's a song. three words. first word -- belt. [ light laughter ] waist. hip. "hips don't lie!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ harmonizing ] yeah, yeah, yeah. [ talking over each other ] >> hips don't lie. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. shakira! [ laughter ] shakira, shakira. >> all right, i'm going for nine. nine, okay. uh -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, wait, this is very common. it's a film, of course you would get that. >> tariq: hush, please! [ laughter ] three words. "the karate kid?" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "karate kid?" [ laughter ] you didn't even say "kung fu panda?" it's like tariq just got -- >> tariq: i bet you already -- you already probably knew where i was going, right? >> jimmy: that was more kung fu than karate. i don't know what that was. >> tariq: what? >> jimmy: c'mon. >> okay, you got it, you got it. >> jimmy: all right, what number? let's do this.

[ audience shouts suggestions ] i heard a very confident four out there. oooh. >> okay. shoo -- >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> okay. telepathic connection. >> jimmy: okay, ready for this? >> okay. i hope. >> jimmy: okay. um -- >> film. three words. >> tariq: "kung fu panda." >> jimmy: yeah, right? [ laughter ] all right, ready? >> one. single. one. no. >> jimmy: first word. >> first word. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> it's short and small -- end. [ laughter ] three words, number three. [ light laughter ] a chicken. chicken. [ laughter ] revenge. very funny dance. [ buzzer ] ♪ >> jimmy: why couldn't you get it down? >> what was it? >> jimmy: it was "the mighty ducks." >> tariq: oh! >> jimmy: oh. terrible, terrible. i know, i know. >> tariq: -- almighty. >> jimmy: the crowd is trying not to boo. [ talking over each other ] the crowd is trying not to boo right now. [ laughter ] oh, it's terrible, oh. >> that's okay, we have another chance.

>> jimmy: i could have done mighty, i could have done -- how do you duck? >> uh, you did this. oh, duck. how do you do that? yeah. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter ] >> is it me? >> jimmy: all right. >> okay. we got this. one word -- >> oh, no, that's easy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? >> "arrival." "arrival." >> jimmy: oh, that's a good guess. wait, are you what? [ laughter ] >> time out. >> jimmy: don't even look at that. what was that? [ laughter ] >> uh -- wait. oh, god! [ laughter ] i, uh -- [ buzzer ] ♪ is it -- >> jimmy: "godzilla?" >> tariq: it was "twilight." >> jimmy: "twilight?" >> "twilight?" oh, that's nice. >> tariq: i was thinking, like, a werewolf, a vampire -- >> "twilight." >> tariq: the light. >> it looks like a dinosaur. [ laughter ] >> tariq: ehh. >> okay. >> jimmy: oh, my god. all right, now this is the showdown. >> oh, the show down, right. >> oh, god, okay. >> jimmy: patty, you and gal get up. >> all right. >> jimmy: now you both -- >> okay. >> jimmy: get the same clue -- >> tariq: okay. >> jimmy: and we -- >> okay, well that's -- >> jimmy: whatever team gets it

wins the whole shabang. >> six. >> tariq: so then team tariq wins. got it. [ laughter ] >> okay. >> jimmy: we're going to do it. we're going to do this. i promise you. >> okay. cool. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, wait, wait. stop! she started already. [ talking over each other ] >> okay, so look at her in the meantime because i didn't. >> tariq: it's a song. >> okay, ready? >> jimmy: ready. >> it's a song. >> jimmy: song. yeah. >> tariq: oh -- dragon. "godzilla." uh -- >> jimmy: attack. love. >> tariq: hair, hair. i'm a panther, lion, tiger. "eye of the tiger." tiger -- i'm a tiger. >> jimmy: "the lion sleeps tonight." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness! that's how -- we redeemed ourselves. >> yes. >> jimmy: we did it! gal gadot, right there! patty jenkins! tariq trotter! we'll be right back, with sam rockwell, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ hello, aloe. kelp is on the way!

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is a a fantastic actor. he just won a golden globe award for his work in the film "three billboards outside ebbing, missouri." you can catch him hosting "saturday night live" for the first time this weekend with musical guest halsey. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome sam rockwell! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i love that guy. sam rockwell. sam rockwell. sam rockwell. how are you? look at that. standing ovation. welcome. >> hey, man. >> jimmy: oh, sam rockwell, we are so happy to have you here. >> dude -- >> jimmy: and i'm so happy for you, dude. congratulations, man!

>> yeah! >> jimmy: you did it! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: man, well deserved, dude. >> thanks, man. thanks a lot. >> jimmy: well, well, well-deserved. >> thanks, man. >> jimmy: and -- so you go from the golden globes to "snl" this weekend. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you're having a crazy couple of weeks. >> it's crazy. >> jimmy: how was the golden globes? was it fun? >> it was amazing. it was amazing. yeah, it was like -- it was incredible. it was like a whirlwind. you know? >> jimmy: do you know what you do when you get on stage? or did you freak out? did you have anything prepared or -- >> i had a couple of the bullet points, you know? but i kind of freaked out. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was a -- yeah, i made an imodium joke. you know? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, as one does. >> as one does, you know? >> jimmy: that one you had written, quite obviously, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you go party afterwards? >> i partied little a bit. eh, not too much because i knew this week was a big week. >> jimmy: yeah, but i would go around with my golden globe and be like -- i would go to, like, taco bell and be like "owee-owee." >> yeah. [ laughter ] you know what's up. >> jimmy: you're really going to charge me? come on. [ laughter ] i just won a golden globe, man. give me -- give me -- >> give me, something, man. >> jimmy: a taquito. give me something off the menu. >> you got salad, man. >> jimmy: give me something off the menu. come on. [ laughter ] yeah. >> i did go to a few parties. they were very loud. and then --

everybody was sort of calm and very, you know, composed. and then salma hayek grabbed my -- my globe and she picked it up like a microphone. she started, like, singing to "i will survive" using my globe. >> jimmy: yes! >> she was groovin', man. >> jimmy: she's so fun. that's what i'm talking about. >> that's what i'm saying. she's so fun -- she didn't care. >> jimmy: no. >> she was like just groovin', having a great time. >> jimmy: that's the best. >> awesome girl. yes. >> jimmy: see, that's what i would do. oh, she's so much fun. but you -- people bring their awards with them. i'd never won an award or else i would know that. >> yeah. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] i don't know about that. is that -- >> jimmy: yeah. but i won a couple of oscars, no big deal. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but, man, you were in a great category, too. >> it's a fun category. it's a competitive category. >> jimmy: yeah, but they're all great. >> william dafoe, armie hammer, richard jenkins, yeah. christopher plummer. >> jimmy: but the thing is that there's not really a -- we were saying, it's not really a a competition really. >> no, it's not. it's ridiculous. there's no, like -- there's no finish line. you know, it is like -- i think george clooney said we should all play the same part. like, we should all play batman or hamlet if we are going to compare roles. >> jimmy: in exact same movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: exact same script. >> yeah. >> jimmy: same director. same everything. yeah. >> yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> jimmy: then you'll see who the better actor is. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. no, i think it was great man. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i loved it. and now i -- i don't know. you're hosting "snl" this week. this is a first time for you. >> first time, baby, first time. >> jimmy: i mean, are you psyched? are you excited for that? >> i'm psyched. i'm very -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, i think it is going to be good! i -- i think it's going to be good. it's must-see tv. >> it is must-see tv. >> jimmy: it's must-see tv. >> do you have any advice? you're -- you're a former cast member. >> jimmy: it's just so -- it goes by so fast, dude. there's no advice. >> yeah, yeah, it's a a whirlwind, yeah. >> jimmy: they're all pros up there. they're the best. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the writers, the cast are great. they're the best. i mean, the crew is -- >> yeah, they're great. >> jimmy: everybody is great. >> everybody's really nice. >> jimmy: so just trust everybody. and have fun and just know that it goes by fast and you'll miss it, dude. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: it's just -- have you ever done, like, improv or comedy or on stage? >> a little bit. yeah, i was in an improv troop in high school with margaret cho and aisha tyler called "batwing lubricant." i don't know what we came up with that name. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, of course. >> and -- >> jimmy: yes, of course. [ laughter ] >> as you know, "batwing lubricant" -- >> jimmy: please sit -- please sit down everyone. >> yeah. >> jimmy: please sit down. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, but margaret cho? >> margaret cho -- >> jimmy: and aisha tyler. >> and aisha, yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: two great -- two comedy pros.

>> they're doing pretty good. >> jimmy: i think so. >> maybe "batwing" helped. yeah. >> jimmy: and it was "batwing lubricant?" >> "batwinf lubricant." yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: any idea where that came from? it seemed funny. >> i don't know how we came up with that name but we learned a a couple of the improv rules, you know. >> jimmy: and where did you perform? >> it was terrible. we were terrible. >> jimmy: you were? >> cafeterias, you know, and it's like, you know. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, awful. awful. >> jimmy: you would tour cafeterias? >> yes, yes. [ laughter ] i think we got -- one night we got to go to the other café, which was a big deal. you know, it was like a field trip. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: it was the same audience? everyone moved from the cafeteria to the other cafe. like -- [ laughter ] "we're in the other cafeteria." >> yeah. and we had some adults. we adults in the audience. >> jimmy: you did, yeah. >> yeah, it was very intimidating. >> jimmy: and you once got a -- i don't want to say cast, by george lucas. >> yes, that's right. >> jimmy: this is big --i did not know this, a lot of people might not know this about you. >> as a care bear. yes. i got -- [ laughter ] i got paid 50 bucks to be at george lucas's 4-year-old daughter's birthday party. [ laughter ] and i was in a polyester -- you know, like in disneyland, like, care bear outfit. >> jimmy: wait, but i don't understand how does this come about. were you in a -- in that business. were you -- did like --

>> i was in a high school performing arts and somebody got word that i was an actor. -- i was dressed as a a care bear. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait. >> i was -- >> jimmy: but did you freak out that it was george lucas? >> i was totally freaked out. i thought maybe i'd get a job out of it. i was -- i was sweating like roy moore at a church, you know, i was like -- [ laughter ] and, it was intense. >> jimmy: could you -- it was a hot -- it was hot in that costume. >> it was very hot. very hot. >> jimmy: but did you maybe add a little robot move or something? [ laughter ] because it's george lucas and you're like, "well, c-3po could be -- have a friendly buddy. [ laughter ] i don't know. just saying, dude." >> meep-oh-meep-oh, yeah. >> jimmy: bee-bop-bee-bop, yeah. [ laughter ] and did he ever call you back after that. >> he never did. [ laughter ] i never got the darth vader call. >> jimmy: you never got the call. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: well, maybe you'll get the call now that you won a a golden globe! >> yeah, man! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. more with golden globe winner sam rockwell when we come back, everybody. stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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like jack's one-of-a-kind breakfast pockets for $2 each. three of jack's famous tacos and a small drink for $3! or a classic bonus jack combo for $5! it's like i tell jack jr., it's all about big values, jr. prices. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back with golden globe winner sam rockwell, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] that's forever. that can always -- now that will always be on the movie posters, golden globe winner, sam rockwell. how great! you can't go back, dude. >> you can't go back. >> jimmy: never -- can you, never go back. >> that's it. >> jimmy: you've changed. you're different, sam. you really have changed. >> i have completely changed. >> jimmy: i can tell a little bit. >> i'm a dick. >> jimmy: it's just that, you're a real jerk now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's talk about this movie "three billboards --" >> yes. >> jimmy: "outside of ebbing, missouri." >> yes, yes. it's a -- it's a fun ride.

>> jimmy: man, oh, man. it is tricky business movie. this is -- everybody's fantastic! martin mcdonagh. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. wrote and directed it. >> jimmy: francis mcdormand. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is just hitting home runs every seen. >> she's incredible. >> woody harrelson, peter dinklage, john hawkes. bunch a great people. >> jimmy: who plays your mom? >> sandy martin. who was in "napoleon dynamite." and she's an old -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she's great, yeah. >> she's great isn't she? >> jimmy: dude, you guys have a a great chemistry. had you -- martin mcdouagh i heard that he kind of wrote the role for you. >> yeah, yeah, he wrote this role. i'm -- i'm so lucky. and it worked out. you know we had the -- >> jimmy: how did you meet martin mcdonagh, he's amazing. >> he's amazing. >> jimmy: really? >> he's like, he's brilliant. he really is. he -- he's like a -- if harold pincher, sam sheppard, the coen brothers and david mamet made like a a frankenstein love baby, it would be martin mcdonagh. and quentin tarantino. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, yeah i'm so lucky to have done -- i did a play with him. was maybe going to do "pillowman" and then we ended

up doing two movies. yeah it's just incredible. >> jimmy: oh, it was just -- it was just great. and can you set up the movie for those who haven't seen it? >> it's about a woman who's avenging her daughter's rape and murder and she takes on the town police force. and so it gets pretty -- hijinks ensue. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no. that's not true -- that's not -- >> no, it's a -- it's a a dramatic film but it has some laughs to it. >> jimmy: definitely some laughs in there. she puts up these three billboards just basically calling out -- >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: police and the town's not happy with happy it. i mean, there's moments where you are funny. there's moments when you are just -- mean. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and stupid. >> nasty. >> jimmy: and nasty. there's moments when you're drunk, there's moments when you're -- it's just like you're playing 10 roles in one role. i loved every one of the 10 roles. congratulations. >> thanks man. >> jimmy: he's so, so good. [ cheers and applause ] i want to show a clip. here's sam rockwell in "three billboards outside ebbin" take a look at this. ♪ >> hey, [ bleep ] head. >> what?

>> don't say, "what" dixon when she comes in calling you a a [ bleep ] head and don't you come in here -- >> shut up! >> you get over here. >> no. you get over here. >> all right. >> what. go, dixon. >> what? >> you do not allow a member of the public to you call a a [ bleep ] head in this station house. >> that's what i'm doing. it taking care of it in my own way, actually. now get out of my ass. mrs. hayes, have a seat. what is it that i can do for you today? >> jimmy: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] what an awesome movie. sam rockwell everybody! "three billboards outside ebbin" is in theatres now. he is hosting "saturday night live" this weekend. he's a golden globe winner. [ cheers and applause ] sam rockwell. we'll be right back with tig notaro everybody. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ every truck guy has their own way of conveying powerful. yeeaaahhh boy. kind of looks like a monster coming to eat ya. holy smokes. that is awesome. strong. you got the basic, and you got the beefy. i just think it looks mean.

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woman: so, greg, it's a lot to take in. woman 2: and i know that's hard to hear, but the doctors caught it early. hi, blake! my dad has cancer. woman: and i know how hard that is to hear. but you're in the right place. man: and dr. pascal and her team, they know what to do. they know what to do. the doctors know what to do. so here's the plan. first off, we're going to give you all... (voice fading away)

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest very funny, very talented comedian. you can see here in the second season of her critically acclaimed series "one mississippi." which is available on amazon prime video. please welcome tig notaro, ladies and gentlemen. ♪ ♪

tig, tig welcome back to the show. >> jimmy. >> jimmy: oh my goodness. >> oh boy. thank you already. wow. >> no, no, no, no, no, no. that -- that is for me. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. [ light laughter ] it's nice to see you. >> it is nice to see you. here's the thing. i talked to ellen degeneres last night. >> jimmy: um-huh. [cheers and applause]. that was a bigger applause than i got but -- [ light laughter ] that's fine but -- i talked to her last night and she asked if i was in new york and i said i was doing the "tonight show" and she said she wasn't comfortable with me doing other talk shows. and i said, you know, i still love you. and she said well i'd appreciate it if you would do something to let me know you're thinking about me while you're on the "tonight show." and she asked if i would eat some banana cream pie. [ laughter ]

and -- and do a jumping jack. so do you mind if i do that? [cheers and applause]. >> jimmy: i don't mind if you do a jumping jack. [ cheers and applause ] i love ellen too though. so, i want to show ellen that i love ellen too. ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ >> try it. >> jimmy: ellen! ellen. >> ellen. >> jimmy: i love you. >> ellen. he loves you more than i love you. >> jimmy: there you go. >> that's his -- >> jimmy: there we go. >> no, no, it's clear. >> jimmy: just so we know where the love is coming from. [ light laughter ] i love you, ellen. >> i -- i -- i care deeply for you, ellen.

i am not willing to do this though. >> jimmy: i sadly am. i really am. >> you didn't even have -- >> jimmy: welcome. >> you didn't even really have to jump to that point. >> jimmy: i didn't. i didn't. i just -- i'm very hungry. got, like, a little snack. little midnight snack. >> here's my concern. is there's been a terrible -- >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> a terrible illness that's swept through my house. so i -- oh, god. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> my -- there's some -- my whole family got sick. and one -- >> jimmy: oh no. >> one person in the family got sicker than everybody. i can't say who it was. >> jimmy: don't, yeah, don't. >> yeah, i'm -- i want to respect her privacy. she said i could talk about this but, just not say who she was. but she got sick, you know, both ends sick. >> jimmy: oh -- yay don't say -- don't say who. >> she wanted me to tell the story but just don't -- don't mention who she is. >> jimmy: i got ya. >> but it was -- it was rough. >> jimmy: it was bad news. >> it was very bad.

like, when i first walked in. she was sitting, you know, on the toilet and -- i went and got her a bucket to put on her lap. and -- >> jimmy: wow. >> and you know it was that moment of just when i saw that she looked at me like "hmm hmm." [ light laughter ] and we didn't know there was 12 hours ahead of us of that situation. >> jimmy: oh my goodness. >> yes. and -- and as the hours went on it really was no longer that, like, "how about this." it -- i was like "are you okay?" and then her response it was -- it was delayed and very deep guttural like, "no." [ laughter ] and it was -- >> jimmy: you have a to make a a decision, there you go. >> it was -- it was this --

well, "do you need to go to the hospital?" "i don't know." [ laughter ] again i don't want to say -- >> jimmy: say who this person is, no. >> no we don't want too. no names. [ light laughter ] and then she -- 12 hours later was finally okay. and she said, "it's crazy because i actually feel like that brought us closer together." and i said, you know -- [ laughter ] "i actually feel the exact opposite." [ laughter ] i -- >> jimmy: i'm going to other way a little bit. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm going the other way a little bit. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. it was ellen. [ laughter ] >> she's not vegan. >> jimmy: that's not for her. >> that's what that was. >> jimmy: exactly, i want to talk "one mississippi." >> sure, i would love too.

>> jimmy: season two amazon prime video. very funny. critically acclaimed. i will tell you that it's 100% on rotten tomatoes, which is really rare. so, congratulations on that. [ cheers and applause ] but -- i'm watching -- i watch the show. and it's very funny. but also deals with some important issues as well. and good for you. well done. >> thank you. >> jimmy: do you want to let everybody know what the show is about this season. >> love. >> jimmy: yeah. that's a big issue. >> well, there's love and then -- >> jimmy: it is love. >> but also we -- the second season deals a lot with sexual assaults and harassment. and we actually wrote the show a year ago before all of this was coming out in the news. >> jimmy: isn't that bizarre. >> and -- the effect, not that we caused all this. but what's going on right now in the news. it's everything and beyond what we hoped would happen. and of course so much more

needs to happen and the conversation needs to continue. but it is -- when we were making this show a year ago, no part of us thought there was going to be this sort of progress this quickly. and it's really -- it's -- it's un -- >> jimmy: bizarre. >> it's unbelievable. >> jimmy: good for you. it think it's fantastic that you're doing that. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i want to see -- you'll love it. it's done in such a smart way. and is -- is there going to be a third season? are you working on the third season? >> oh jimmy i hope there's a a third season. >> jimmy: are you gonna do one? >> we haven't heard anything. we haven't heard anything. >> jimmy: is that the way those shows work? >> i -- i -- >> jimmy: no, they have too. you have to do it, you're -- dude, you're just, just getting started. >> i -- i -- i want too. >> jimmy: you're in a good zone right now. >> i want to do it. >> jimmy: don't stop. we need like 10 more seasons. please, tig. 10 more seasons. >> 10 more seasons. >> jimmy: "ten mississippi." >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: change the title to ten mississippi. >> eleven mississippi. >> jimmy: eleven mississippi. that's thinking. >> c'mon. >> jimmy: that's thinking, too much, right? yeah. i want to show a clip of tig notaro in "one mississippi." take a look at this. >> i just love that little tee shirt.

it's so cute our kids believe in dinosaurs, isn't it? >> what do you mean by believe? >> you know, how they think they are real and everything? >> do you not think they existed? >> well, i've never seen one have you. >> no but i have seen their bones in the museum. >> oh, please just because some body digs up something that looks like a bone and some scientist plugs it into a a computer and calls it whatever. doesn't make it true. >> i've seen a documentary called jurassic park and it's kind of hard to argue with that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love that documentary. >> it's good. >> jimmy: i love the documentary "jurassic park." tig notaro everybody. watch season two of "one mississippi" on amazon prime video. we'll be right back with music from alan walker featuring noah cyrus, stick around everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he is a talented norwegian producer and d.j. who has racked up over 8 billion streams. huh? yeah. [ cheers and applause ] worldwide, he will play coachella this april. performing "all falls down" featuring noah cyrus, please welcome alan walker. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ what's the trick i wish i knew i'm so done with thinking through all the things i could have been ♪

♪ and i know you want me too all it takes is that one look you do and i run right back to you ♪ ♪ you crossed a line and it's time to say eff you what's the point in saying ♪ ♪ that when you know how i'll react you think you can just take it back but it just don't work like that ♪ ♪ you're the drug that i'm addicted to and i want you so bad guess i'm stuck with you and that's that ♪ ♪ cause when it all falls down then whatever when it don't work out for the better ♪ ♪ and if we just ain't right and it's time to say goodbye when it all falls down when it all falls down ♪ ♪ i'll be fine i'll be fine

you're the drug that i'm addicted to ♪ ♪ and i want you so bad but i'll be fine ♪ ♪ why we fight i don't know we say what hurts the most oh i tried staying cold but you take it personal ♪ ♪ with all those firing shots and making grounds it's way too hard to cope but i still i can't let you go ♪ ♪ cause when it all fall down then whatever when it don't work out for the better ♪ ♪ and if it we just ain't right and it's time to say goodbye ♪ ♪ when it all falls down when it all falls down i'll be fine i'll be fine ♪

♪ you're the drug that i'm addicted to and i want you so bad ♪ ♪ but i'll be fine i'll be fine fine ♪ ♪ when it all falls down falling down all falls down all falls down ♪ ♪ all falls down ♪ cause when it all falls down then whatever then whatever baby ♪ ♪ and when it don't work out for the better for the better ♪ ♪ and if we just ain't right and it's time to say goodbye ♪ ♪ when it all falls down when it all falls down i'll be fine fine fine fine i'll be fine i'll be fine ♪ ♪ you're the drug that i'm

addicted to and i want you so bad ♪ ♪ i'll be fine i'll be fine and that's that ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my -- thank you, thank you, thank you. alan walker! noah cyrus! [ cheers and applause ] "all falls down" is out now! my thanks to the sam rockwell, tig notaro, gal gadot, patty jenkins, alan walker, noah cyrus and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thanks for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. thanks a lot. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- jake tapper. creators of "corporate," comedians matt ingebretson and jake weisman. featuring the 8g band with allison miller. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. during an immigration discussion today, president trump reportedly asked lawmakers, quote, "why are we having all of these people from [ bleep ]hole countries h